Ryu, & Why Pixie Wants to go *STABBY*!

[Begin Clarifying Edit]

Okay, so last night’s post was ranty. I appologize for that. It was late (for me), and it pushed buttons, and I broke a cardinal rule of the internet. Don’t post when emotional.

So, to clarify a few things from yesterday’s postage:

A) No, I do not really want to stab Ryu. Sheesh. “Wants to go stabby” is a turn of phrase meaning one is extremely angry. I’m anti-violence and anti-weaponry.

B) No, this is not a personal attack on Ryu after years of us arguing. He claims to not know who I am, and I’ve only been in conversations with him rarely, the most recent, I believe, was a few years ago. Ryu’s name is in the title because he was the instigator on at least three occasions where such talk/conversation happened.

C) My chief complaint was that out of all the people in that transcript, only one person, in my opinion, spoke against what Ryu and the others said. And that’s sad.

The thing that those who posted negatively on my blog and on facebook where I linked the blog don’t understand is that what you’re saying isn’t something I haven’t heard before. It’s just been awhile since someone actually talked like that to me in public. What you say does not shock me, it just makes me pity you. With how much the VC has grown in the past few years alone, I was hoping that such talk would end, and people would wake up to the fact that we’re all in this community together, vampire, donor, and non-vamp.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been involved with the vampire community for nearly two thirds of my life, on the verge of twenty years. My older brother is a vampire, I went to school with vampires, a few of my closest friends are vampires, you get the drift. Hell, when I was in high school, due to my weird assed energy signature, I was mistaken for a form of psi vamp. I’m not one, but still. I’ve seen and been involved in parts of a vampire’s life that even the vampire in question doesn’t fully understand. My role, as I see it, is for me to be there as a support for the vampires in my life, and, the vampire community in general. Which includes donors and other non vampires who are active in the community.

As a “Community Leader”, it is my job to try to make my little corner of the community open and welcoming to all members of the community. Not just those who I want in. Everyone. Else, why would I or the other admins of the Black Swan Haven allow vampires to join the forum, modify the color scheme of the website so it’s as friendly as we can get (while still looking attractive) for vampire eyes, etc? I do my damnedest to try to be polite to everyone, but, alas, I’m only human, so I’m bound to blow a gasket now and then.

Like I said before, this cat dirt that I’m seeing directed towards me isn’t anything new, and honestly, I think that a large portion of the community either doesn’t realize how often it happens, that it happens at all, or if they do see it, just brush it under the carpet as “Oh, it must just be one of the occasional nutjobs that makes it’s way into the community. It’ll go away soon if we ignore it. Don’t feed the trolls, you know.” When we started the BSH, do any of you realize just HOW MUCH hate mail I recieved in our inbox that said things along the lines of:

“Who do you think you are, starting a vampire website/forum, but not allowing vampires to be moderators/administrators.”

“How dare you think that you’re better than vampires. You’re our food. We eat you. You have no right to a voice in the community.”

“Shut this down now, or we’ll attack your server/website.”

Take a look at the comments on my last post, or where I posted the link in facebook’s vampire groups. I am happy that quite a few people agreed with me, and spoke out against such talk/treatment of donors. But the rest of the comments. Typical. And no, I’m not editing any of their comments, I’m just clicking the “Approve” button.

The thing that these vampires (who I severely hope are in the minority) don’t realize, is that vampire politics DOES affect the donors and non vamps in the community. Yes, it’s not always directly, but even if it doesn’t, it very well could hit us indirectly through the vampires in our lives. It might not seem important to you, but it is to me. For example, I was a donor as a teenager. Now, if you go to nearly any VC website/forum, they will tell you that you cannot be a donor until you’re 18. Makes sense, due to legal issues, such as statutory rape, since many view vampiric feeding as a sexual act, or as assault, and when you’re a minor, you have no right to consent to it under the law. Nearly two decades ago, that wasn’t seen often. Donors were rare, as they are now, hence the term Black Swan used for us. So people turned a blind eye towards underaged donors and vamps engaging in feedings, and there weren’t so many lists of blood substitutes and tricks to deal with the cravings as you see today.

Let me phrase this another way. Back in the day (1950’s and prior), women stayed at home, took care of the household and the children, while the men went to work. You’ll see it in books and radio/tv shows from that time. “Honey, you do your womanly duties, and let the man do the thinking around here.” That would be deemed sexist nowadays, and unappropriate for society. Now, replace woman with donor/non vamp, and swap out man for vampire.

“Honey, you do your donorly duties, and let the vampire do the thinking around here.” Tell me how that is any less offensive than the original sentence? And not using the “But Vampires are superior to donors” line of bull pucky.

Couldn’t come up with a reason, could you? Didn’t think so.

Donors like me have to put up with such nonsense on a regular basis. Now, I admit, my brother teases me that I’m the “perfect prey” for a psi vamp, and a “walking, talking smorgesboard”, but he teases me in a good naturely manner. And I admit it. I’m as close to the opposite, and therefore, “perfect prey” for psi vamps. Psi vamps don’t make enough energy, and need an outside source to get it. I make/gather too much energy in me, and need an outside source to shove it into. Purely symbiotic in nature for me. Other donors do it because they have a person they care about that is a vampire of some sort, and they want to be more than just a shoulder to lean on in times of need. So, where in that relationship does it show that either donors or vampires are superior to the other? No where. It’s a symbiotic relationship, and I’m proof of it. My big brother is a vampire, so I was born to balance him out. Simples.

Recently, the VVC put out a community questionaire, asking what the biggest problem with the VC was, and how should it be fixed, which can be found at http://www.veritasvosliberabit.com/accountability.html. The number one response?

Grandiosity/Narcissism. And quite a few of the complaints were about people who claim to be vampiric and, essentially, the biggest badass in the food chain. And yet, when I call someone on their grandiosity and narcissism, what happens? “How dare you step out of place and address your superiors thusly. Shame on you.”
Mhmm. Whatever. It’s talk like this that drives people away from our community, makes it hard for new donors and young vamps to feel welcome in the community, adds to the stressors that we, as a whole, go through when establishing trust in a new donor/vamp relationship, etc.
The good news that came out of my rantitude yesterday? The people who’s reactions were “Holy shit.” “This makes me sick.” and the like. Also my friends and family standing behind me, giving me hugs for stepping up and saying something rather than ignoring it, or staying quiet in my little corner. It’s people like this that gives me hope that OUR vampire community is strong, welcoming, and helpful to those who stumble across us on their life-path. I just hope it’s enough to drown out the nay-sayers.
I just got this little facebook transcript in my BSH mail. Apparently a donor was in this group or something, and she was, to put it plainly, shocked and highly upset. She wishes to remain annonymous, but holy shit fuck, people. I’ll c&p what she sent in, then comment at the bottom.
*WARNING* Trigger Alert. *WARNING*
Donors,Swans, Blood Bags, Blood Dolls, Snack Packs, Chew Toys what ever you call them. The simple fact of the matter is that they are food to us, yes they are to be respected but the bottom line is that they are food. The thing that pisses me off about this subject is that they feel that they have the right to sit at a Vampyric table and have a say in Vampyric matters, Why? they are not Vampyric and can NEVER understand our plite. We do not have cattle sitting at the desk next to us at work making dissition on our matters, or better yet any matters, because they are cattle and would not nor could they ever understand what our needs are because they are not us. A house member of mine put it in a simple way, a white man whos only friends are black. they are in a group speaking on black problems in the world today. The white man says I feel you that shit is wrong, and I understand. The Black men look and say we respect your view, but how can you understand something you have never been through because you are not black? You Cant because of that fact! As in all walks of life we all have our place in it, and a donors is not at a Vampyric table unless they are on it……… Now as to those whom say what would we do if our donors just said no we are no longer going to feed you….well as in all things of life we will find a way, know that there where not always donors and yet we are still here, we will always survive. I remeber how i use to feed, and well lets just say I am thankful for Father Vincent and my brothers and sisters for teaching me a better way, back in the day. for my self my donor, swan CHEW TOY know what it is they are to me, in our deal part of their oath to me is” I belong to you heart, mind, body and soul and that NO ONE may never touch what belongs to me…………… They know this going in, it is none of any one else buiness what is between my CHEW TOY and I. It is NO ONES BUINESS what ANY Vampi/yre and their donor do what deals they have made or anything. You want to know donor rights? YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO FEEDING ONE OF MY BROTHERS OR SISTERS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FORM YOUR OWN LITTLE SUPPORT GROUPS. But you DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY WHAT GOSE ON IN A VAMPI/YRE DONOR REALATIONSHIP OR THE VAMPYRIC COMMUNITY!
The Vampyre/Vampire community
This is a group where we Vampyres/Vampires can sit and speak about our community. your views will be respected. This is a Vampyre/Vampire group only. please respect each others view. the old ways are upheld here. honor, pride, respect and diginty.
(Redacted for their privacy)
Ryu Reborn first subject…… let me say this, and with all due respect, one this is not a house issue, it is a community issue, as far as it not being on topic? how is that. I am a Vampyre and I feel that the rights of the Vampyric community to stay only vampyric are being ignored. as far as unfavorable light, why because donors dont have a say and they want one? THEY ARE NOT VAMPYRIC! they are DONORS! so please tell me how does this not have to do with our rights?One of the reasons the community has fallen as far as it has is because of ALL the non Vamps coming in making a mess. I dont give a shit if our food thinks its un fair for them not to have a say in OUR matters. so brothers and sisters tell me how am I wrong for standing up FOR OUR COMMUNITY? A community I have been apart of for 20 plus years, a community I have spilled blood for, a community I helped build, I help protect, I have lost friends to, a community I live and die for. tell me Brothers and sisters when has our foods wishes become more important then what is right for our community the right for Vampyric matters to stay Vampyric? Tell me if our foods wants are more then what is best for the community I can leave a group that is for VAMPIRE RIGHTS and call it what it is….a donors rights group. because as a Vampyre I have the right to say they have no place in Vampyric politics. why? because they are NOT VAMPYRIC! Like · · Unfollow Post · August 1 at 10:24pm near Suffolk, VA
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Gigi Frost, Corvis Nocturnum, Jill Vampyyri McCarty-Kirk, Dharkling Noctem Aeternus, Athyriel Luciana Nocturna, Adaora Osimiri-Lewis, James Mallory and Angelo Melendez like this.
>Athyriel Luciana Nocturna like i said before, they need to realize their place. i respect them for giving us something we need, but if food is gonna whine, i know i wont want it. >August 1 at 10:32pm · Like · 4
>Dharkling Noctem Aeternus I am all for treating donor/food with the respect they deserve. However, I honestly believe if they were told correctly from the very beginning that they are donors/food and that they are welcome to have their own group to share their own thoughts as donors, they are welcome to do so! As far as Vampyric business, non Vampyres have NO place whatsoever in our own political/business matters. You are completely right Ryu! >August 1 at 10:35pm · Like · 6
>James Mallory They’re called “DONORS” for a reason. If they wanna supply us fine, but know where to draw the line & stay there! You’re not in the wrong for speaking out for us brotha. >August 1 at 10:36pm via mobile · Like · 2
>James Mallory Right Dharkling! Keep it STRICTLY business! >August 1 at 10:41pm via mobile · Like · 1
>James Mallory Granted we come from different houses, bloodlines, havens ect; but we are all kin here. We have to stick together! >August 1 at 10:43pm via mobile · Like · 3
>Athyriel Luciana Nocturna agreed james . ^_^ >August 1 at 10:43pm · Like · 1
>David M Criophix I’m indifferent to donors but I’ve always wondered as I sat twirling in my chair their interest in being apart of vampire houses and wanting to serve on vampire councils. I can’t say I would fight for or against them joining a vampire group but what is accomplished by it? I sometimes blink and muddle on at some these going ons lol >August 1 at 11:07pm via mobile · Like · 1
>Ryu Reborn agreed, i too wish to know why they wish to sit on our council, but it matters not to me because they are not Vampyre/Vampire so why should it matter? >August 1 at 11:10pm · Like · 1
>Dharkling Noctem Aeternus Perhaps it is because they want to be a bigger part of Us as Vampyres. I think that sometimes there are those who truly want to be Vampyric, but can’t be for whatever reason and they become donors in the hopes that it will bring them closer! Just a thought. >August 1 at 11:13pm · Like · 1
>Ryu Reborn could be sis, and I respect that, but that longing doesn’t make them Vampyric. >August 1 at 11:14pm · Like · 2
>James Mallory Could be they want what we want. Power, control, want, the very thing that makes us…. Mundane. >August 1 at 11:15pm via mobile · Like · 1
>Ryu Reborn I only want our community to be safe, strong and one with honor. >August 1 at 11:16pm · Like · 2
>James Mallory One word comes to mind. “Familiar” >August 1 at 11:19pm via mobile · Like · 1
>Dharkling Noctem Aeternus The word that comes to my mind would be “desperation” on some donors part! It doesn’t make it right for them to be part of our business, but it does explain the mundane nature of their demands. >August 1 at 11:23pm · Like · 2
>Jessica Pedrick Donors have rights, and I feel they should be respected: the right to be fed from safely, to be asked beforehand… and if they don’t like it, the right to LEAVE. Howver they do not have the right to smash these facts into our faces. >August 1 at 11:39pm · Like · 2
>James Mallory Exactly Jessica! >August 1 at 11:45pm via mobile · Like · 1
>David M Criophix Yeah. I do sense some of them would love being vampiric without understand what that ment. >August 1 at 11:48pm via mobile · Like · 2
>James Mallory I’m not saying that we should be fully segregated from donors or anything of that matter. It’s just that it’s a time & place for everything is all. >August 1 at 11:48pm via mobile · Like · 1
>James Mallory Basically they want in for all the wrong reasons. >August 1 at 11:52pm via mobile · Like · 1
>Ryu Reborn well said >August 1 at 11:53pm · Like · 1
>Misha Valkyrie I believe donors want to be part of the house and having a voice and say in what goes on is because it is Human nature. If you look throughout history whenever the human species is no longer the superior being they try to in someway weave there way into the top. Some get into the top so that they can change it into there own manner of thinking and thus they are now again the higher ups while others simpley want to be amoung the higher ups and respected and feared as such. They fail to see that well ultimatly it isnt about them, and while the Vampyric/ire community is an arrogant one by nature let us think back to how long we have lived in the shadows. Now in regards to these donors/swans/happy meals no, form your own groups, talk amongst one another, become brothers and sisters if youd like but do not stick your noses in buisness that you cannot and will not understand. It dosnt matter how long you have been around us it dosnt mean anything. For example we all have parents and we all say we understand this and that of what our parents nag and there responce is usually the same,’you wont understand until you go threw it.’ and than when we do we are like ‘oh shit they were right its not like i thought at all’ its the same thing. You CHOSE to be a donor kudos for you, you shall be respected and taken care of as such. Anything that would concern the relationship between a donor and Vampyre will be discussed with you and your opinion herd. But house/coven/council/community exc. buisness is personal. >*para pa pa pa im lovin it * lol got to lighten things up a bit every now and again guys ^.^ oh btw sorry for the misspellings im horrible at it >August 2 at 1:09am · Like · 2
>James Mallory Do we get a toy for our happy meal? Jk! >August 2 at 1:12am via mobile · Like
>Misha Valkyrie lol well i guess the meal is the toy i mean Ryu calls them ‘chew toys’ >August 2 at 1:15am · Like · 2
>James Mallory We all play with our “chew toys” at some point 😉 >August 2 at 1:22am via mobile · Like · 1
>Riss Kokaine Booth I will treat my food kindly and with respect. But my food always stays on the table. I think that as a vampire we cannot lose ourselves in the enjoyment of feeding.and get lost in the person. we have the responsibility as.vampires do when the food stats acting as if its equal to our kin and issues then.the vampire should be held accountable. Just my feelings on the topic. >August 2 at 1:51am via mobile · Like · 4
>James Mallory True. ^^ >August 2 at 1:57am via mobile · Like
>Anibal Ramirez The funny thing is, as donors they want to be equals with those they are not. Not beong of the blood has its own merits and benefits as well. Sadly this point is often missed. >August 2 at 4:06am via mobile · Like · 4
>[Name Redacted By Request] I have my reservations on the matter but for reference, there are some that actual gave rights to donor and have even written a document about it. This was written by Belfazaar Ashantison.
>The Donors Bill Of Rights
>This Bill of Rights is to promote the continued safety of the most precious of gifts to us, their life essence. It is suggested that this be signed by both the vampire and the donor on a 30/60/90 day trial basis. After this, the contract can be resigned for an extended period of time which can be either the 30/60/90/ or 6 months to 1 year. At the end of these contracts, discussions can be made as to whether or not changes should be done. What will be allowed and what will not be allowed.
>1) As a donor, I know that it is through my personal sacrifice that the vampires needs are met. It is my loving nature that allows this relationship to continue. It is my right to decline to feed the vampire for any reason.
>2) As a donor to a vampiric being, it is my right to know that I am in a vampiric/donor relationship that will be mutually beneficial to both me and the vampire I am donating my life essence to.
>3) I am the essence provider. It is for me to decide whether or not I am able to give of my essence to the vampire I am with. I must be allotted time to heal and regain my essence in order to better support my vampiric partner.
>4) At no time should my wounds not be allowed to heal.
>5) At no time should I feel stressed about giving of my essence, if at any time I feel stressed, I have the right to back away from the feed, without being or feeling threatened by my vampiric partner.
>6) Should I feel threatened in any way, shape or form, I have the right to seek guidance and council from other donors and leaders of the vampire community.
>7) As a donor to a vampiric individual, I have the right to know that my position as lover, friend, family, roommate should not be jeopardized by my not wanting to give of my essence. In the slang, “it should not cost me my ass to be a donor.”
>8) As a donor, I should also respect the needs of the vampire and try to learn more about his/her feeding habits in order to help stabilize his/her imbalances in energy.
>9) As a donor in a vampire/donor relationship, I realize that though I have many necessary rights, I must also take cares not to abuse the person I am donating my essence to. These same rights afforded me in this Bill of Rights should also be extended to the vampire I am donating too.
>10) Ultimately it is my right to know that I will be safe in all aspects of the vampiric/donor relationship and should I ever feel that my safety is jeopardized, I have the right to walk away clear and free.
>Ultimately, it is our (both the donor and the vampire) responsibility to insure that we are not abused. It is our (both the donor and the vampire) personal responsibility to leave a vampire/donor relationship that we feel is abusive in any nature. We can not be abused unless we allow ourselves to be. >August 2 at 12:51pm · Like · 2
>Ryu Reborn Blue, my house honors the new document, but that does not give them the right to have a say in Vampyric matters, only the rights given to them by said document nothing more, not only that those rights are for the donor and Vampiyre/Vampire not a group of blood bags to have a say in our affairs. what is between a donor and vamp is discussed between them and agreed upon. This is their business and no one else. >August 2 at 1:01pm · Edited · Like · 2
>[Name Redacted] Well, this was for reference only. I don’t personally follow this document but felt it was good to have out there. My rule of thumb on all non-vampiric is this: the kindred politics are for kindred. it’s just that simple. >August 2 at 1:06pm · Like · 5
>Andy Berry ?[Name Redacted]: i hate politics period but thats a good rule to go by >August 2 at 1:33pm · Like
>Ryu Reborn well said [Name Redacted] >August 2 at 3:05pm · Like
>Nikki Harris Everyone and everything has a place, donors need to know there place, plain and simple >August 2 at 3:07pm · Like
>Victorya Upyra Well, I think that is as easy as a House and its members to decide whether or not to include any other than Vampyric. >August 2 at 3:46pm · Like
>Ryu Reborn true, but when it comes to the Vampyric community why can we not just stay Vampyric, why do we have to accept those whom are not of the blood, I mean it is called the Vampire/Vampyre Community for a reason. >August 2 at 4:14pm · Like · 1
>Victorya Upyra Ryu, I do not think that we Vampyres have to accept any that we do not want to be part of our chosen group/House/Community. That is the thing, we don’t have to accept any so called codes, moralities, individuals. It would go well for Vampyres, to find like minded Vampyres, and form their own OVC’s. And disregard current nonsense. >August 2 at 4:20pm · Like · 4
>Damian Nightwalker technically not anyone’s right to subjugate anyone , or we going to put chains back on the black people etc …it is like a ds thing, you choose to submit to someone not a right or have it coming, also again this does not forward the course or rights or equality with people who do not view us as stable but in fact think being a vampire would make you less of a parent etc .but we cleared this misscomunication on the phone >D, , >August 2 at 4:21pm · Like
>Deacon Gray I listen to any advice I can get, I just pay more attention to those with the most expirence. Many of our issues are issues other groups have faced before, so even non vampiric they can offer words that could be of service. >August 2 at 6:02pm · Like
>Damian Nightwalker the only a person non vampiric sits in anything like a council is to rep the other donors of a large house, but they do not need to be privy of all things vampiric, and since it is not any of their business don’t really have to be involved seat or not. when you know it is not their business simply don’t make it their business . easy. >D,, >August 2 at 6:27pm · Like
>Andy Berry undefinedDamian Nightwalker: i know us military types call that the need to know basis >August 2 at 6:29pm · Like · 3
>Damian Nightwalker the rest of it is follow your orders, few people in the community know that it “lead follow or get the fuck out of the way.” they make things their concerns to cover their asses , id rather not be a pawn, but i am no ones knight either >D, , >August 2 at 6:31pm · Like
>Deacon Gray ?*chuckles* Ryu my friend, you are one of the only people I know who can make a lulliby sound like a threat to people who don’t know you. I don’t get too worked up, I mean all he is really saying is let vamps deal with vamp stuff. I let Otherkin deal with their stuff with out being offended…not being on a otherkin council or board doesn’t mean I am being discriminated against…it means I haev no stake in the topic >August 2 at 6:42pm · Like · 3
>Jessica Pedrick Donors should perhaps have a subset– just outside the House circle. Donors (sang) in this realm MUST be presented to Elders, approved, and have signature-documentation that they are House approved. If they fuck up after that, the family and surrounding Houses need to be notified. A bit more lenient on psi/psy Donors due to the feeding nature. perhaps. thoughts? >August 2 at 11:54pm · Like · 3
>Ryu Reborn I like that >Friday at 12:26am via mobile · Like
>Riss Kokaine Booth I love the idea Jess. I think that a crystal swan should be held at the same level as any other. There’s still a deep connection being created and should still be held as that. It can damage both parties as well as build. >Friday at 12:31am via mobile · Like · 1
>Miyuki W. Co that might not be a bad idea. sounds interesting. hpe everything works out okay. >Friday at 12:36am · Edited · Like
>Miyuki W. Co ?*hope >Friday at 12:36am · Like
>Jessica Pedrick With Ryu’s blessing, I’ll write something up in more detail. >Friday at 12:46am · Like · 1
>Damian Nightwalker im working on somthing big but it is slow going >D, , >Friday at 1:23am · Like
>Riss Kokaine Booth Anything that takes time Damian is worth doing. if I may ask what are you working on? >Friday at 1:25am via mobile · Like
>Damian Nightwalker well thats a rather loaded question as i give most of my free time and even time while im doing other work, ewrc. and always on something , but this is a donor vampire thing, a registy >D, , >Friday at 1:29am · Like
>Darci Huddleston Idk if I posted this here or in another thread, anyways…I’ve always considered donor/vampire relations to be a private thing. If something comes up that affects donors, then yes they should have a say in what’s going on. They are people with their own thoughts and feelings so they should be considered as well…in private. Idk why they would even want to be involved in Vampire politics/ drama anyways. >Friday at 10:25am · Like
>Deacon Gray There is not levels between Donors and Vampires, just differences. Please don’t make the mistake in thinking a donor out there somewhere isn’t smarter, stronger, a better energy user, a better user of craft, more faithful…or whatever you want to call it. >I am not saying you have to accept them into your organizations, but insulting them isn’t helpful. >Respect and Honor are both important attributes in the community, and to those outside it. If we have a higher level, it should be in not getting into the frey with people who could sustain us, and help us. >Friday at 12:43pm · Like · 1
>Ryu Reborn Deacon, I respect your view and to some point agree with you, but they are food and need to remember their place and that place is not at our side to have a say in our community. >Friday at 4:07pm · Like · 1
>Victorya Upyra First of all I am glad for this group which upholds to civil and diverse opinions. I would share this once my own on the topic of Donors/Swans, Yes, I agree that if it is a consensus, a Community may chose to include or not include donors, within any dynamic within such Community. Yet, I also believe that a Donor/Swan could in accordance to a given relationship; be our one night bliss; our partner, end even a Soul Mate or life partner, shall a Vampyre be so fortunate. In other cases, a casual or even cherished friend. I am grateful to the highest degree to all Donors who feel regard, and at times love and compassion, for the needs of Vampyres. I do not want to categorize all Donors. I speak of those who are united to us Vampyres and the VC, in their own unique, yet helpful way. >Friday at 4:46pm · Like
>Michael J. Forrester Following the standard formula of Sanguines, I see your point. The problem is that the whole Community is too varied. Maybe it’s time to accept the idea that the VC will always be cliques? >Friday at 8:21pm · Like
>Ryu Reborn True >Friday at 8:53pm via mobile · Like · 1
>Armitage Soulshroude Reminds me of Lodge (being a Freemason) all brothers who are not members of a specific Lodge and are only visiting, do NOT have voting rights when petitions come up for nomination or a committee team needs to be formed, where Lodge money goes, etc. ONLY active members that pay their dues to said Lodge are allowed to vote.
>I think Houses should follow the same rule. Donor’s should have no political or voting rights even if they are part of a House and have been a member of that House since it’s inception. They should only have privileges and voting rights when it is something that concerns them as donors. Nothing more.
>But… to each their own. >Saturday at 7:03am · Edited · Like · 3
>James Mallory I believe they’re called “Black Swans”. Those who support the vampyre lifestyle but do not wish to be vampyre. >Saturday at 7:17am via mobile · Like
>Armitage Soulshroude I think we need to reiterate that statement, James. One cannot, “wish” to be a vampi/yre. Either one is a vampi/yre or one is NOT. As well, who said anything about a, “lifestyle”? Some of us are vampi/yre because of our, “need to feed”. We don’t live the lifestyle, We are vampi/yre. Period. >Saturday at 7:24am · Edited · Like · 4
>James Mallory True, you’re right Armitage. >Saturday at 7:26am via mobile · Like
It gets BETTER! She took screen shots. (Click to see bigger, okay?)

I am seriously pissed. I understand why Miss Anonymous sent this to me. I don’t do much on facebook, and am not a member of this group, so no, I wouldn’t have seen it if I -were- active on fb. But dear fucking Lord and Lady. I am not a chew toy, happy meal, what have you, and my place is NOT on the gods damned table, to be seen/eaten and not heard. And if you actually agree with this shit, and I considered you to be a friend *glares*, don’t talk to me for a good long while. I might not agree with all of you on every little thing that comes across our “desks” here, but I DO respect each of you and your position that you hold in the community.
The thing that SERIOUSLY pisses me off? Seriously? The member list. The fact that I was told about this by a person I barely know and yet, I recognize quite a few of the names that I edited out for their privacy. Especially my supposed friends. I definately thought you all had my back and treated me with respect, but did any of you even HINT to me that this kind of shit was happening? If you really think that someone like me has no place in the VC, I’d prefer it if you said it flat out to my face. Y’all have my phone number.
Not so personal bit.
Is it just me, or is Ryu going further and further off the deepend? Donors aren’t the first thing he’s gone after, and I’m sorry, but they way he wrote is A) fractured and not really coherent in parts. Coming from me, that’s saying something. And B) I pity his poor donor, because the way he described it, it sounds like an unhealthy bdsm relationship. Hell, it sounds scarily like my abusive ex, and replace donor with girlfriend/fiancee, and you can see why I’m pissed and scared. I’m *this* close to giving into the panic attack.
So yeah, Ryu is on my shit list, and honestly? Way to make me feel like shit. Hope you’re proud.

“It’s Like The Baby Jesus!”

Before I start, a couple of brief announcements.

First off, there’s a “Vampire Community Accountability” survey at http://www.veritasvosliberabit.com/accountability.html . Go check it out, fill it out, etc.

Secondly, I was interviewed by the Real Vampire News network thingiemabob. On my part, it was nice, though they didn’t edit my answers at all. That’s both good and bad. Good, because they didn’t change my answers. Bad, because I didn’t proofread myself at all (except to make sure Asiatic really was a word), assuming their editors would fix my massive amounts of grammatical errors. C’est la vie. Anyways, go check it out at http://realvampirenews.com/website-spotlight-the-donors-haven/ .


Today’s story comes from my job, with a dash of Norse and Christian mythos tossed in for flavor.

For those who don’t know, I work in a factory. We make kids drinks, coctail mixes, and what we like to call “Adult Capri Suns”, aka wine cooler slushies in a pouch. I run a line that makes kids drinks. Shockingly, I make more money now than when I made the alcohol based drinks. Who’da thunk it, right?

Well, there’s three kinds of caps used here: screw on (think soda pop bottles); press on (think of the milk caps that you have to peel off the bit around the side); and melt on. I work with the melt on caps. They are both complicated and deceptively easy. Foil cap goes on plastic bottle. Bottle goes under a metal “puck” that’s heated to round about 450 degrees Fareinheit, melting the plastic bottle rim to the foil cap. Tada!

Here’s a puck, all shiny and clean.

Clean Puck

Here’s a puck on top of a bottle. The groove on the side of the puck is where it locks into the capper machine.

Puck on a bottle, to demonstrate how it works.

And this is what a group of them look like all nastified and soaking in restaurant quality grill cleaner. It’s a combo of burnt sugar and plastic residue, which will be explained later in the actual story.

Ewwww! Don't worry, though. None of this can actually touch a drinking surface!

Sunday evenings, I go in an hour early to work. I set up my line, turn on all the machines and the like, and make sure everything is running properly, and that the “juice” is mixed correctly before any of the other employees that work on my line come in, so there’s little downtime. One of the first things I do is change the pucks. Throughout the week they get bits of melted plastic and burnt sugar collected on them, due to bottles that go into the machine wrong, the cap not staying on right between the filler and the capper, what have you. We run between 340-380 bottles per minute. There’s bound to be fucked up bottles eventually. Well, this gunk is a problem. You see, the inside of the puck is shaped to cup the top of the bottle, and apply even heat so the seal seals properly. This stuff, if enough accumulates, can mess with that, and cause partial seals, push the cap off to one side, what have you. Not fun, and makes more work for myself and the others on my line. So, at least once a week (more if the machine is being a royal pain and not wanting to do a damned thing right), we rotate out the pucks to a clean set.

By “we”, I mean “me”.

For some odd reason, the other two shifts at work now insist that they never, ever are to change out the pucks, and that it is solely the perview of graveyard. *insert eyerolls here*

So. Imagine my surprise when I go to get the pucks I scrubbed clean on Friday, and find that the bucket is full of dirty, grimy pucks, plus the clean spare. I immediately called my manager over, and we declared it a miracle, on par with the Virgin Birth. Just like the birth of Jesus, this doesn’t happen. Ever.

Hell, it’s nearly as rare as a near virgin birth, like the story of Osmotar. Don’t know the story? Well, Osmotar was getting married, and when she was planning the reception, she and her mother realized “Oh shit. No one’s invented beer yet!” So, after her mother failed horribly, Osmotar got a weird idea in her head. First, she put a splinter in her girlie place, and gave birth to a squirrel, who brought back, depending on the story teller, hops or pinecones. That didn’t do it, though it did taste better. So she stuck a wood chip in her girlie place, and out popped a bird. That birdie brought back bear spit, cause it was foamy. Ick, but closer. So Osmotar stuck a flower up there, and gave birth to a bee. It flew and brought back honey to add to the pot. That was the final thing needed, and soon the beer was foaming up and over flowing everywhere. And yet, she was still considered a virgin when married, cause she never had a boy part in her girlie part before her honeymoon. Don’t believe me, look it up.

So yeah. I’m still shocked, and all “OMG, daylight and/or evening shift ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING other than sit on their ass all night!”

The End


So, I spend a lot of time with my mom. Helps that we’re neighbors & ride to work together. But still, my mom is odd, & confusing. People from the outside instantly take it as “HOMG! Pixie! Your mom is SOOOOO COOL!” Yeah. Mmhmm.
She has her moments, I admit. Giving me a tarot deck for my sweet 16, finding cool shops while lost, etc.
Well, see, Mom has “The gift of gab”, as she puts it. She likes to write up funny family stories. I admit that they are very well written, & I think, if compiled into book form (like The Bloggess did), it would sell very well. There is just one drawback.
I’m in her family, therefore not imune to being written about. Think “Well, that’s cool, tho!”? Think again. How would you feel if your mother wrote an article, for example, about how you told her you were no longer a virgin? And then, in her way, hyper-exaggerated bits of it? Then, to top it off, post it on a then popular website, where classmates (cause you’re still in high school) have been known to look.
Still cool? Didn’t think so. Now, she didn’t name the child (I’m one of a lot), but she did give birth order. And, when you live in a small town, everyone knows if you’re the oldest, second, third, etc.
I still think she should do the book. Well, with a caveat. The kids talked about have the right to say “No, you can’t use that story” or “If you use it, you have to de-exaggerate it to how it actually happened, or no go”.
I think it’s fair. If it sells well, the stories will be EVERYWHERE, not just hidden away on a website in the far reaches of cyberspace.
Now, before people get in a huff about us wanting to censor our mother… the example I used? It happened. The story was printed out & passed around classes, etc. The subject about died of embarrassment, then called Mom, screaming “Oh my God, how the HELL could you do that to me? I didn’t say half that shit, and it’s being passed around. No, I don’t care how many hits you got, or that you’re paid ten cents per hit. Take. It. Down. Now.”
See our side, now?
But, I still want to eventually be able to hold up a New York Times bestseller, and go “My mom wrote this”. So, I’ll harp & nitpick until she gets a manuscript together. Until then, keep an eye on my twitter feed. I quote Mom a lot. A lot a lot. She’s funny.


So, my mom is big on family ties, and where we come from. She’s been researching her side of the family for years, trying to figure out who’s related to who, but mostly to figure out A) when we migrated from Europe to America & B) WTF happened to my great great grandparents, & why they sent their kids two states away to an orphanage after they divorced.
Me, I have it both easier & harder going for my dad’s side. Luckily for me, a cousin did a majority of the work about 6 years ago. What I’m doing now is plugging the info in from the emails forwarded to me into Ancestry.com, then go back & try to fill in the gaps, & verify the information is correct.
Seems easy, but it’s a pain. First, the site apparently is finicky, & likes to refresh while I’m inserting people. Then, you have to figure out if so & so is a boy or a girl. Like, I’ve a few Francis’s. Most are male, but a few aren’t. Then you get the oddball names, that don’t show up in modern baby name books, like Mahal. Also, in a far strung branch, I’ve apparently got a MALE cousin named, get this, Princess. Also factor in that my family settled in a pioneer state, and has so far married cousins back into the main line. Thank goodness, I’m not decended from them. But it gets twisty. I’m just happy it isn’t a wreath, versus a tree.
But I was silly. I work graveyard shift, so me sleeping in on the weekend is getting up  at 2am. I did. Then, about 5 I hopped on the web looking for free programs to make the tree making easy. No go. Win 7 doesn’t like them. So, I dug up the emails, made an Ancestry account, & went at it. Next thing I new, it was 7:30… pm. Shit.
I have to be ready between 10 & 10:30pm for work on Sunday nights. I lay down for a nap, but didn’t drift off til about 8:30. And then my alarm went off at 9:30. Yay. Joy of joys. If it weren’t for the fact that I wouldn’t get paid if I called off, I’d be at home, curled up & passed the fuck out, but… Money keeps a roof over my head, Mt Dew in my fridge, & kibble in Cricket’s dish. So I’ve a couple 5hr Energy Drinks in my purse, I’ve chugged a 20 oz Mt Dew, & am waiting to clock in.
All cause I got an itch to straighten my family tree.

Mom… Don’t hand her new technology.

My mother. Everyone loves her. Lord & Lady know why, but I’ve apparently been “blessed” with what has been termed “A cool mom”. But there’s a downfall. I have to live with her as my mom.
My mom stumbles upon weird and crazy shit (when not creating it, herself). She finds weird books. Case in point?


This. Seriously?!? Yes, I bought it. Cricket sheds so much, I’m surprised he still has fur. But I wouldn’t have it if she hadn’t found it.
Mom’s new fascination? She wants a smartphone. Not to make calls. Not to keep up with her blogs (yes, plural) or other social media. She wants it for one singular, solitary app.
Mom wants Songify.
She finds those videos of autotuned news reports hilarious. But she doesn’t want to do that. No.
You see, Mom can’t sing. Family legend states that when I was two years old, Mom was singing a nursery rhyme to me. And, supposedly, I said, “Mommy, please stop. Your singing hurts my ears.”
Songify will cure that for her. So her ingenious idea?
Record all of her stories, then autotune them into songs for my siblings & myself.
So, we were out yesterday, cause my phone kicked the bucket & I needed a replacement. So, at the first cell phone store, she’s looking at a display case of used phones. She doesn’t buy one because the cheapest they have is $100, & she just spent oodles @ Best Buy buying a laptop. (She almost bought an android tablet, but thought better of it.)
When we get to a location that can actually solve my phone issue, the guy notices I’m the only person on my plan, & asked if Mom would be interested in being added to my plan. She said no. She only wanted a smartphone for one app, & gave the guy her speil. At the end, she asked, “You wouldn’t happen to have a used smartphone that no one wants that I could have?”
” *chuckles* Sorry. I actually would give you one if we had one just to check it out. And I’m totally downloading that app now.”
If you have an old smartphone that you’re willing to part with, Mom wants it. So so badly. She even joked (at least, I hope she was joking) that she was going to peruse Craigslist & eBay.

Annoying post about my cat

I have a cat. He’s not my first. I grew up with cats as a kid, but Cricket (that’s his name) is my first non-fish pet since I moved out on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Meester Feeshie & Meester Feeshie the 2nd. But you can’t cuddle a beta.
Cricket is my little fur-baby. He’s so cute! If you follow my twitter (it’s over on the side) it’s often full of silly pictures of him.


That’s him going “Need… Energy… Plug me in, woman!”
Just over a year ago (May 23, to be exact), I brought him home. His favorite napping spot is a corner of the top of my sectional. He has a weird fascination with plastic. And he has a temper at times, so I have scratches on my ankles & hands occasionally.


That’s his pissed off “You’re taking my picture AGAIN?!?” look.
So. That’s my annoying postyness.

Mom’s lesson on how to drink like a lady

My mom is unique. Really. Sometimes it’s in a truely marvelous way, like she’s the best mom ever, and everyone should bow down to her. Other times… Well, she’s my mom. I’m obligated to be embarrased of or by her at times. It’s in the Daughter Handbook. *Girl Scout Honor*

In comparison to some other Moms I know, I have to admit, my mom’s pretty damned cool. How many people have mom’s that used to be a DJ, and would test songs on her kids using the “If my kids dance around like maniacs to it, the crowd will love it” method? Or insist, that even if we were born with two left feet, that we must, and I mean MUST, know how to do every version of the Electric Slide, The Bird, The Chicken Dance, a little bit of swing dance, and how to “Drop it like it’s hot”?

She also took me out for my first legal drink when I turned 21.

We were living in New Jersey, just on the other side of the Ben Franklin Bridge. My original plans? Go to Philly with a couple of friends and do the “traditional” bar crawl of the South Side, and see how many free drinks I got before my friend drove me home. Yeah, didn’t happen. My best friend’s girlfriend decided to have a drama fit, so he drove me home before the sun set. Bum. Mer.

So, Mom insisted in taking me out. First stop, the Burger King drive through. Can’t drink on an empty stomach, don’t ya know? Then we drove. And drove. And drove. We drove around for about 2 hours trying to find a bar with the right “vibe”. I don’t know what she was looking for exactly, but what we ended up doing has affected my tastes in bars ever since.

We ended up at the bar two buildings down from where I worked, and less than 5 minutes (if you hit EVERY red light) from home. It was a total blue collar dive bar, and I’ve felt more comfortable in places like that since. Brightly lit bars/clubs with trendy music and/or DJ’s, “Mixologists”, and the trappings that go with it don’t do it for me. Give me a dimly lit, smokey place with a friendly bartender that knows how to pull a draft with just the right amount of foam, knows your basic, classic coctails, and doesn’t charge an arm and a leg for them. Great, cheap food is a plus.

So, we go to the counter, and Mom orders 2 Long Islands. One for her, one for me. I go snag a table nearby while she stays put, watching the bartender mix them. Did I mention Mom used to be one? So she knows what goes into one. The 4 white wells, triple sec (or, if out, Country Time Lemonade), and coke.

“Ohhhh shit… Oh shiiiiit. God damnit.. Shit shit shit.”

Now, I look young for my age, so of course, I had to show my ID. The bartender was sweet, and told me happy birthday. Then, promptly adjusted Mom’s order so I’d start my birthday off with a kick.

Did we get Long Islands? Oh, noooo. We got Texas Tea’s. Not just that, but heavy handed Texas Tea’s. What’s a Texas Tea, you ask? Okay, first off, the Long Island is actually a family of drinks. There’s the classic, the Tokyo Tea (which has Midori added to the mix), the Long Beach (replace the coke with a splash of cranberry and orange juice), and the Texas Tea. There are probably other variations, but these are the most common. All start with the same basic ingredients, known as the 4 white wells. These are the basic clear liquors that are most common in drinks: vodka, gin, white rum, and tequila. So, a Long Island is a shot each those 4, triple sec (an orange liquor) or bar syrup (think simple syrup), and coke. Easy, right?

So, a Texas Tea is special. You take the 4 white wells, the triple sec and coke… Then add another shot of tequila. Everything’s bigger in Texas, right? Well, this bartender went heavy handed. He didn’t just put a shot of everything in, he put in about double the alcohol, almost no ice.. And could barely fit in the coke.


So, Mom taught me how NOT to drink. See, addiction runs strongly in my father’s side of the family. Well, in my father. And she didn’t want me to become an alcoholic, so she wanted me to have a horrible hangover the next day. One of those “I’m never drinking like that again” kind of nights. So, she had me push the orange slice down to the bottom, and drink the whole thing through the straw, then eat the orange.

If you want to get drunk fast, that is the way to do it. If you’d rather savor your drink… Don’t. Doesn’t help that on top of doing that (first time drinking hard liquor. I had had beer/wine coolers before, though) my older brother, in his infinite wisdom, said that I must -MUST- have a shot of Jager since he couldn’t be there. (He was in Iraq on his first deployment).

Yeah… I was DRUNK. Only things I remember from that is the bar TV was on ESPN, comparing Alex Trebek and some other Alex that played baseball (cause they were both Canadian), with me and Mom rooting for Trebek, me insisting that I could walk a straight line (it was diagonal. Straight, but not forward.), and my step dad chewing my mom out for getting me so wasted, and then driving me home while she, herself, was drunk.

Thank god that Mom and I are both cheap dates.

As it is, her little lesson has stuck with me. While I do enjoy the taste of a coctail once in a while, I stick to her “rule” of only imbibing a handful of times a year, typically holidays, plus one freebie. I rarely get drunk off my ass because I seriously don’t like the feeling. I’ve only gotten very drunk once, and I swore to never repeat it. (We were out celebrating a friend’s birthday, it was my first time drinking sake, and I honestly don’t remember getting in my friend’s car to go home, nor singing “Twinkle Twinkle” in the backseat. Never. Again.)

Now, I do go to a bar quite often (once or twice a week after work), but I can count on one hand (with fingers left over) how many times I had a drink in the past 4 years of going there. The bar has a cool atmosphere, ginormous breakfasts for dirt cheap, coffee to die for that does NOT taste like the crap Starbucks shits out, and wi-fi. The bartender knows me by name, knows what I want when I say “I’ll have my usual”, and asks me what cool new music is out.

And, more times than not, it’s Mom that wants to go, not me. Oh well.. Just means she has to pick up the tab. 🙂