A clarified and calmer donor’s point of view on yesterday’s post

Okay, so last night’s post was ranty. I appologize for that. It was late (for me), and it pushed buttons, and I broke a cardinal rule of the internet. Don’t post when emotional.

So, to clarify a few things from yesterday’s postage:

A) No, I do not really want to stab Ryu. Sheesh. “Wants to go stabby” is a turn of phrase meaning one is extremely angry. I’m anti-violence and anti-weaponry.

B) No, this is not a personal attack on Ryu after years of us arguing. He claims to not know who I am, and I’ve only been in conversations with him rarely, the most recent, I believe, was a few years ago. Ryu’s name is in the title because he was the instigator on at least three occasions where such talk/conversation happened.

C) My chief complaint was that out of all the people in that transcript, only one person, in my opinion, spoke against what Ryu and the others said. And that’s sad.

The thing that those who posted negatively on my blog and on facebook where I linked the blog don’t understand is that what you’re saying isn’t something I haven’t heard before. It’s just been awhile since someone actually talked like that to me in public. What you say does not shock me, it just makes me pity you. With how much the VC has grown in the past few years alone, I was hoping that such talk would end, and people would wake up to the fact that we’re all in this community together, vampire, donor, and non-vamp.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been involved with the vampire community for nearly two thirds of my life, on the verge of twenty years. My older brother is a vampire, I went to school with vampires, a few of my closest friends are vampires, you get the drift. Hell, when I was in high school, due to my weird assed energy signature, I was mistaken for a form of psi vamp. I’m not one, but still. I’ve seen and been involved in parts of a vampire’s life that even the vampire in question doesn’t fully understand. My role, as I see it, is for me to be there as a support for the vampires in my life, and, the vampire community in general. Which includes donors and other non vampires who are active in the community.

As a “Community Leader”, it is my job to try to make my little corner of the community open and welcoming to all members of the community. Not just those who I want in. Everyone. Else, why would I or the other admins of the Black Swan Haven allow vampires to join the forum, modify the color scheme of the website so it’s as friendly as we can get (while still looking attractive) for vampire eyes, etc? I do my damnedest to try to be polite to everyone, but, alas, I’m only human, so I’m bound to blow a gasket now and then.

Like I said before, this cat dirt that I’m seeing directed towards me isn’t anything new, and honestly, I think that a large portion of the community either doesn’t realize how often it happens, that it happens at all, or if they do see it, just brush it under the carpet as “Oh, it must just be one of the occasional nutjobs that makes it’s way into the community. It’ll go away soon if we ignore it. Don’t feed the trolls, you know.” When we started the BSH, do any of you realize just HOW MUCH hate mail I recieved in our inbox that said things along the lines of:

“Who do you think you are, starting a vampire website/forum, but not allowing vampires to be moderators/administrators.”

“How dare you think that you’re better than vampires. You’re our food. We eat you. You have no right to a voice in the community.”

“Shut this down now, or we’ll attack your server/website.”

Take a look at the comments on my last post, or where I posted the link in facebook’s vampire groups. I am happy that quite a few people agreed with me, and spoke out against such talk/treatment of donors. But the rest of the comments. Typical. And no, I’m not editing any of their comments, I’m just clicking the “Approve” button.

The thing that these vampires (who I severely hope are in the minority) don’t realize, is that vampire politics DOES affect the donors and non vamps in the community. Yes, it’s not always directly, but even if it doesn’t, it very well could hit us indirectly through the vampires in our lives. It might not seem important to you, but it is to me. For example, I was a donor as a teenager. Now, if you go to nearly any VC website/forum, they will tell you that you cannot be a donor until you’re 18. Makes sense, due to legal issues, such as statutory rape, since many view vampiric feeding as a sexual act, or as assault, and when you’re a minor, you have no right to consent to it under the law. Nearly two decades ago, that wasn’t seen often. Donors were rare, as they are now, hence the term Black Swan used for us. So people turned a blind eye towards underaged donors and vamps engaging in feedings, and there weren’t so many lists of blood substitutes and tricks to deal with the cravings as you see today.

Let me phrase this another way. Back in the day (1950’s and prior), women stayed at home, took care of the household and the children, while the men went to work. You’ll see it in books and radio/tv shows from that time. “Honey, you do your womanly duties, and let the man do the thinking around here.” That would be deemed sexist nowadays, and unappropriate for society. Now, replace woman with donor/non vamp, and swap out man for vampire.

“Honey, you do your donorly duties, and let the vampire do the thinking around here.” Tell me how that is any less offensive than the original sentence? And not using the “But Vampires are superior to donors” line of bull pucky.

Couldn’t come up with a reason, could you? Didn’t think so.

Donors like me have to put up with such nonsense on a regular basis. Now, I admit, my brother teases me that I’m the “perfect prey” for a psi vamp, and a “walking, talking smorgesboard”, but he teases me in a good naturely manner. And I admit it. I’m as close to the opposite, and therefore, “perfect prey” for psi vamps. Psi vamps don’t make enough energy, and need an outside source to get it. I make/gather too much energy in me, and need an outside source to shove it into. Purely symbiotic in nature for me. Other donors do it because they have a person they care about that is a vampire of some sort, and they want to be more than just a shoulder to lean on in times of need. So, where in that relationship does it show that either donors or vampires are superior to the other? No where. It’s a symbiotic relationship, and I’m proof of it. My big brother is a vampire, so I was born to balance him out. Simples.

Recently, the VVC put out a community questionaire, asking what the biggest problem with the VC was, and how should it be fixed, which can be found at http://www.veritasvosliberabit.com/accountability.html. The number one response?

Grandiosity/Narcissism. And quite a few of the complaints were about people who claim to be vampiric and, essentially, the biggest badass in the food chain. And yet, when I call someone on their grandiosity and narcissism, what happens? “How dare you step out of place and address your superiors thusly. Shame on you.”

Mhmm. Whatever. It’s talk like this that drives people away from our community, makes it hard for new donors and young vamps to feel welcome in the community, adds to the stressors that we, as a whole, go through when establishing trust in a new donor/vamp relationship, etc.

The good news that came out of my rantitude yesterday? The people who’s reactions were “Holy shit.” “This makes me sick.” and the like. Also my friends and family standing behind me, giving me hugs for stepping up and saying something rather than ignoring it, or staying quiet in my little corner. It’s people like this that gives me hope that OUR vampire community is strong, welcoming, and helpful to those who stumble across us on their life-path. I just hope it’s enough to drown out the nay-sayers.

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