A couple of FAQ’s

A person just sent me a message, and it falls along the lines of things I get, sadly, quite often.

The person’s significant other is a vampire. The vampire cares deeply for this person, so obviously they don’t want harm to come to their loved one. But they need to feed from someone, right?

Here’s the thing. We’ve had discussions on a few forums I’m in about this. Vamps are always going to feel guilty about harming their donor for what they need. They know their food, and talk to their food, and their food talks back. It’s unnerving for the vamp. Put it this way. How would you feel if the sandwich you packed for your lunch had a conversation with you while you were eating it? You’d be put off, right? Feel bad that you had to eat it, even though it’s showing obvious signs of intelligence (since it’s talking to you). To the vamp, we donors are the talking sandwich. So put yourself in their shoes for a minute.

What the vamps don’t always understand is that we don’t mind being the talking sandwich when it’s needed. If we’re a sanguine donor, yeah, it’s physically going to hurt a bit, but it’s okay. We’re taking care of our person that we love. Even psychic donors get hurt a bit, but, as with our sanguine counterparts, we bounce back fast, and all is good in the world. Now, what we do mind is if the mindset of us as talking sandwiches stays in the forefront of the vamps mind, and the fact that we are people who care about the vampire gets shoved onto the back burner. Yes, we’re considered food. But we’re your friends, partners, companions, and sometimes your lovers. That part of us comes first. The fact that we feed you is secondary in our relationship.

Now, another question I get quite often is “Do I have enough blood/energy for my vamp? Can you tell me?”

Honestly? I don’t know. For the sanguine donors, there are blood tests that can be done. Basically, if you can donate to the Red Cross/blood bank, you can donate to a vamp. You just can’t donate to the blood bank AND the vamp in the same time period. There’s a limit to how much blood you can give in a certain time period before your health takes a downturn, and if you don’t give your body time to replenish the blodd you’ve lost, you could get seriously ill.

And for the psychic donors, I still can’t tell you. The only thing I can say is to have your vamp feed from you, and see what happens. There are a few possible outcomes. 1) You might not have enough energy to spare, and therefore get lethargic, or get flu like symptoms. 2) You might have more than enough energy, but your vamp is “allergic” to you. Or 3) You have more than enough energy and it’s compatible with your vamp, and if the partnership works out, congratulations are in order.

There is something else I feel I must reiterate. If you are not compatible with your vampire for any way, such as inability to feed them due to lack of resources, allergic reactions to your blood/energy, or it just squicks one or both of you out far too much, it’s okay. It does not make either of you less of a person. It is not your fault that it turned out this way. And you can still be friends!

People keep forgetting the “Friends and family” part of the definition of a Black Swan. I compare it to my best friend and myself. We dated once, and when it didn’t work out, we stayed friends. He is now my best friend in the world, and thanks to our former dating bond, we can talk about who we’re dating, or in his case, he can bitch/gush about his new wife. We can talk about things that are private without worry of being misunderstood. I can’t go to one of my other guy friends and gush about how I miss such and such an attribute from an old boyfriend. That man might think “Oh, well, I have that attribute, as well. Why don’t we try a romantic relationship?” and make our friendship awkward, to say the least.

Just because you can’t be their donor, doesn’t mean that they don’t want a person that they can talk to without being shipped off to the mental ward. You know the vampire community, now. You’ve bonded with your vampiric friend, and you want to be their friend, still, right? Then be there for them. Talk to them, have late night bitch fests with them, go out to the movies together, etc. Just cause you no longer are a walking, talking sandwich doesn’t mean you should leave their life. Yeah, we donors are important, but the friends and family of a vampire are even more so.

Just my $0.02 on the subject. I don’t speak for everyone on this, but *shrugs*