Oct. 25th

i gave up trying to keep up with what day it is. And to the person who found this while looking up doner allergies… Dude, I’m sorry 😛 While it is hilarious, I so totally didn’t mean to confuse you.

I’ve been okay. Been a smidge hectic at work, and a bit depressy at home, but that happens.

Website is still going strong. I’ve got a paypal now, so the other donors are sending me funds to buy the domain and stuff. Then we’ll be in full swing! All I have to do is figure out how the hell to set up a phpbb board. Might call a friend later and see if they know how to.

I’m cranky tonight , though, so I’m going to head off. Bai.

Day 12

Yeah, yeah.. I know, I know. “You said you’d post every day, save weekends… blah blah blah” And I haven’t been doing that. Tough cookies. You try having an active but not so active life and keep up a daily blog. I mean, I don’t have much of a life outside of sleep, eat, work, needlepoint, donate to vamp, repeat as neded. But it does keep me surprisingly busy. So I’m going to modify this to an “I’m going to try really damned hard to keep up on this thing but sometimes life just gets in the way” kind of blog.

Update on the donor website: We’re thinking of searching for our own domain name and hosting site. While it was a very good offer from the person who was going to donate the hosting, it was going to be a subdomain, and having our own domain won the vote. But, I have the majority of the pages filled in with fluff. All we need are for people to submit their articles and questions to blackswanhaven@gmail.com . Come on, you know you wanna.

But that’s about it for today. Been fairly lame in the excitability factor in my life, just mostly been fate conspiring to keep me from the internet. Till next time.

And post a freaking comment, why don’t you! I know there are people reading this damned thing. I can see the stats page. So tell me if you like it, hate it, or just wish I’d poof from the face of the earth.

Day 9

One of my EXA’s got transferred today. Everyone at work is bummed. Sucks. Other than that, work was fairly uneventful.

Got home, went up into my pc room, and putzed around most of the night. My stomach isn’t liking me too well, atm, so I’m just trying to keep it easy. Flipped through the embroidery pattern book I got on Day 2. Very cool things, and I can think of some uses. Going to stitch up a design for a favor for my on again off again FWB. We’re both in the Ren Faire scene, and it’s only appropriate that I make him something. I wonder if whitework is considered period

Still trying to think of a name for the Donor site. We’re at a loss. We’ve got all these great ideas for what to put on it, but no clue as to what to name it. *sigh* If you have any ideas, please leave them as a comment below, kay?

Going to cut this short. I’m going to call my bro, and head to bed. See y’all on Sunday night.

Day 8

First off… Yay for you people reading this!! I know you’re all from the VCMB, and I love y’all!

Second: Yeah.. I know, I know. Where the hell did days 6&7 go off to? I don’t know. Well, I sorta don’t know. Tuesday I wasn’t feeling my best, so I went to bed before I could get online. Yesterday I was lured out of the house by yarn… And as soon as I got home, I rolled around in a big pile of it like a cat, then went to bed. The only interesting thing that happened was a Stitch n Bitch session that I attended with my mom.

Third: The other thing keeping me from this? Our surprise project that we’re going to reveal in the next few weeks. Who’s this we? The active donor’s on the VCMB. What’s this super uber cool surprise?

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

An all donors, all the time website! Think Sanguinarius.org, minus the fangs. 😀 We’re so excited about it. We’re in the process of getting a domain name and everything set up, and I’ve already started typing up the html and css. We found a lovely free design, thanks to Inobscuro.com. We’re currently on the hunt for the perfect picture of a black swan. If you’ve got one that is rights free or public domain, share it with me! We, the donors, will be putting it all to a vote in the near future.

The site isn’t just about a cool picture. We’re hoping to have articles about and by donors, FAQ, a shoutbox or chat, and maybe, to turn the tables, a vamire listing for the donors that are looking for a vamp, but just can’t seem to find one. *g* I mean, everyone’s always like “Where’s the donor listing/ads?” on the VCMB, why not “Where’s the vamp ads?” Everything is still in the works, but we’ve got high expectations. I expect everyone to go take a peek at it once we get it up and running.

Just one rule: Vamps are NOT allowed to take over. We don’t take over your sites and message boards, no reason for you to take over ours. We’re trying to get the donor community active and vibrant, and get our voices heard. Maybe get it so that there’s less tension and confusion between vamps and donors.

But yeah, I’m excited about it. I get to brush off my CSS skills, and write some articles that arent’ about a video game. I should still be able to keep this up and running. I don’t see why I couldn’t. I might have a few more instances where a day or two goes *poof*, but I think we can deal with it. Right, class?

Update on my vamp: She’s doing much better. They got her totally hooked up on everything she needs, and goes in for a check in tomorrow, to make sure everything is copacetic.

I’m yawning too much, so I’m going to call it a night. See y’all on the flipside and keep your eyes here for updates on the donor website! Love y’all!

Day 5

I love days off. I’d love it better if I could actually keep it off, but overtime is more money. I slept in late, made me a pot of coffee, and got to work around my house, cleaning, organizing, and redecorating. We’re taking a pullout couch that my stepdad’s mom gave me upstairs to my apartment tomorrow morning, and I’m going to use it as a temporary bed until I can afford a new mattress set. So I moved the craptastic futon-wannabe to my pc room, and moved my books around so there’d be room. I also dragged every stitch of clothing I own out to the living room so I can sort them. Going to the laundromat tomorrow, joy of joys.

Plain Jane boring til I got called in to work.

Showered, dressed, the usual, and walked into my store, and was promptly hit with a huge wave of WTF? In my last entry, I described what it feels like when my current and former vamps feed off of me. Well, it felt like all three weren’t just pulling my hair taut… It was like I was trying to be lifted off the ground by it. All three of them. Not in sync. That’d be too weird. First, it was my current one, right at the crown of my head, like she always feeds from. As soon as I get a chance, I’m dialing her from the phone next to my register. “Are you okay? You’re feeding so hard it hurts.” She appologized. She’s going through a lot of medical issues, and the stress got to her, so she didn’t notice how hard she was going at it.

The other two don’t really have an excuse. They haven’t been feeding properly. One has admitted it to me. The dumbass. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times. Feed yourself properly. If you don’t, you’ll get so low you’ll lash out and take what you need too fast and too hard, for both of us. I called him and bitched that he was pulling on my hair, since a customer came up to me, and for him to knock it off. It died down shortly afterward, but still a steady trickle to him.

The third one I haven’t talked to in a long while. And it’s not for me trying. He just never calls me back. But anyways… He’s a hybrid. He can get the psi energy he needs, easy peasy. It’s the blood he needs that throws him out of whack. I don’t think he has a blood donor. I haven’t offered. We’re three states apart, and I don’t think I’m ready to be a blood donor. I almost cried when I got my flu and pneumo shots.. Hurting myself on purpose I don’t know if I could do at this stage of my life. Maybe for him. I really care about him, you know? But since he hasn’t been getting the blood he needs, he needs to take in more psi energy to compensate, sort of. And apparently, he decided that I needed to help out. I texted him, asking if he was all right, and if he wasn’t, for him to call me at work. He didn’t call before I left, so I’m assuming he’s alright.

It’s over now. Headache’s gone, and I’m sitting at home in front of my pc with a glass of wine. Very nice. Submitted my last design for the VCMB’s tshirt contest, and now I’m just going to try to relax. Maybe I’ll call my brother, see if he’s on duty and listen to dispatch with him again. Our police version of MT3K is quite interresting, imo.

Pixie Out.

Weekend 1 Aka Days 3&4

Do to my work schedule (I work in retail for a pharmacy chain), I close on Saturdays, and open on Sundays, which is kind of brutal on the sleep schedule, so I’m almost never online Saturday nights, unless I’m wracked with insomnia. So, until my schedule changes, the weekend posts will be smushed together into one post.

Not much has happened, vamp wise. My vamp is feeling much better. They gave her a script for super benadryl, and I think they might be giving her something like what people with bee allergies have, in case of a sudden attack on her system. My older brother, the vamp, is doing well. We talked last night before I passed out. We bond in a strange way, while he’s on duty as an MP in the army. I call, and we listen and comment on what goes over the police freq’s he listens to. Dispatch has such a cute little accent 😛

My mom made my day when she picked me up from work last night. She got me a coffee maker. And not just any coffee maker…

A Hello Kitty coffee maker. If you know me, you know my fascination with Hello Kitty and the color pink. The thing is at least three different shades of pink. So, what did I do? Called my brother and left a message, demanding that he buy me something to match. 😛 I apparently talked too fast from the excitement, so I had to repeat myself significantly slower to him later on. Yeah… No dice on getting the matching toaster or toaster oven. *pouts* He’s kind of on the broke side at the moment, so I told him I could wait.

Oh, and the coffee maker works wonderfully. Mom and I split a pot while watching tv and crocheting new projects. Mom attempting a capelet pattern, and myself working on a scarf for my sister of the heart’s boyfriend/fiance.

Today was rather uneventful. I hit the snooze 3 times before actually waking up, fed my fish, Meester Feeshie, got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, ditched doing makeup, grabbed my purse and coat, and got my mom so she could take me to work. Yeah, my vamp is on a budget. Buying her donor a car is out of the question, not that I’d actually let her buy me one. I mean, yarn is one thing, but a car? Oh, hell no. She does not need to try and buy me off to have me give her my energy. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. Anyways… I worked, I got home, did dishes, gave my fish “a bath”, fixed the first pot of coffee, ate dinner and read a pattern book, and here I am.

Now, I guess people are going to go “But, Pixie, what the hell do you actually do that involves vampires? Do you let them bite you and junk, or are you making this whole thing up for attention?”

Well, as of yet, I’m just an energy donor for a psychic vampire. Her body doesn’t make enough energy on it’s own to run her at the peak of fitness. Luckily, she’s evolved or adapted to take in energy from other sources. She is one that takes it psychically. Others need to drink blood to survive. And others still need to take psychic energy AND drink blood, or they aren’t quite right. If a vampire doesn’t get their needed “food”, the symptoms can vary from something as mundane as mild depression, to, I’ve heard, seizures and fits of mania.

Yeah, not pretty.

My job, if you could call it that, is to supply what the vampire can’t make on their own. I naturally have oodles of excess energy. A good portion of it is my own, the other part coming from my empathic abilities. I’m like a walking, talking, human sponge for people’s emotions. If I don’t block it out, I get swamped with every person I come in contact with’s emotions, be it happyness or severe depression. But even with blocking, a little bit of what I come in contact with sticks to me, so I give it to my vamp, in addition to my excess energy. I have no use for it, while she does. Simple as that.

The sensation is different for everyone. And with me, the sensation is slightly different depending on which vamp it is that is tapping into me. My current vamp is not my first, and at one point in our relationship, I was supplying two other’s with energy, I’m that hyper 😛

The way it feels for me, is like someone has ahold of a small section of hair, typically somewhere on the top of my head, and they’re gently, but steadily, pulling up on it. My current vamp, it feels like she pulls from the crown of my head. My brother, just a bit more towards my face from the crown. A friend of ours, it feels like he’s pulling on where I would have bangs, if I kept them short. But with all of them, I have a sense of peace and happiness wash over me. In one instance, the happy feeling was so strong, the only way I can describe it would be like if I had taken a hit of Ecstasy. No, I’ve never taken the drug, but I knew people who had, and have also read the clinical reactions.

But like I said, it’s different for everyone. You might not feel a tugging when you donate, you might feel pressure on a part of your body. Or you might feel no physical effects save a sense of euphoria wash over you. Just remember: If it feels bad, wrong, what have you, tell them to stop. Most vamps strive hard to make it a pleasurable experience for both parties, and if you’re uncomfortable, they will typically stop, let you catch your breath, and discuss the issue with you, so they can see if it is a problem that is fixable, or if you’re not suitable to be a donor to them at that time. If you can’t be their donor, don’t despair! It’s not big deal. You’re not a failure, and they aren’t a picky bastard 😛 You can still be friends, right? Right. So it’s not a big loss on your part. You gain a friend, and the vamp has someone they can talk to about their hidden life without the pressures of a donor/vamp relationship with you pressing on them. They’ll find a donor, and you could probably even help in the search. They could probably even find a vamp that you’d be compatable with, so it really is a win win situation.

 Okay. I think that’s enough me rambling for tonight. I’m well over the 1100 word mark. So, I bid you goodnight, sleep well, whenever you head off to your bed, and I’ll see you tomorrow evening, roughly around this time.

Day 2

Today was rather uneventful. Got up, talked with my mom for a bit, got my paycheck and started a new bank account that gave me a free food processor *happydance*.  Bought a couple of books, a bite to eat, then went home. We snatched my sister, and went serious shopping. Myself to Half Price bookstore, Petsmart, and Joanns. Mom to Halfprice, Michael’s, and Joanns. Sister to Plato’s Closet and Joann’s. I got a crochet pattern book, an embroidery motif idea book with designs from the Civil War era (insert Oooohs and Aaaahs here), and a dvd set to learn ASL from the book store, a filter set for my betta, Meester Feeshie Jr, aka Shawn, at the pet store, and $40 worth of yarn, fabric, and a pattern that was on sale. I’m an addict.

What? You thought that I was a total Renfield? Ate bugs, and couldn’t bear to be separated from my vampiric master for more than the time it takes to go get a drink and cookie at Starshmucks? *rofl* Dear lord. For one thing, while I love my vamp, I don’t love her love her. Last I checked, she was female. And I am female. And neither of us are lesbian or bisexual. Oh and did I mention we’re in totally different timezones? I’m in PA and she’s in TX. I mean, we could be further apart, but what’d be the point? We’re already pretty damned separated. So that myth is out of the bag. At least, concerning me.

Renfields and puppies are out there, those who’s every breath depends on a vamp telling them they approve, etc etc. It’s like members of a celeb’s entourage. Pathetic, honestly. I try to distance myself from that type of person, but at the same time, I have this strong urge to slap them, and shake them until they get some sense back in their heads.

It’s people like that that give we donor’s a bad name. It also doesn’t help with the vamp/donor trust issue. Vamps are, by nature, suspicious of donors to begin with, and with good reason. I mean, a person hops up in front of you and goes “Here, have some of my blood and/or energy.” Wouldn’t you be a bit weirded out? I know I would, if I were in that kind of situation. Luckily for me, I’m the nutjob hopping up infront of the vamps. I have gotten used to the weird looks. I haven’t donated blood yet, but I’m sure that will happen eventually. I mean, I got my flu and pneumococcal vaccines without crying. Pricking my finger a few times shouldn’t be too much worse, right?

Anyways, I was shopping. Spent WAY too much. I should still have enough for my bills and groceries.*crosses fingers* I got the yarn for my vamp’s present, for my pixie-sis’s boyfriend’s present, and maybe the yarn for a present for my vamp brother’s wife’s present. I also got some sculpey. Jamie showed us her tattoo, and I’m going to try to make black swan beads (couldn’t find any to buy) for all of us in the donor’s club at the VCMB.

Day 1

It’s about 11h30pm, and only a few hours since I started this thing. I told the girls, and they’re excited. Wolfy called me her hero *blushes* It’s just a blog. Jamie freaking got a black swan tattoo! I don’t know if I could go and do that, you know?

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain. First off, I’m a member of a vampire based message board, the VCMB (Vampire Community message board). Everyone there (save the trolls) are total sweethearts, and I love them to pieces and back to whole again. There’s a huge portion where everyone can talk about different subjects in the vamp community.. Divisions for the sangs, psis, hybrids, donors… You name it, there’s a section for it. Inside the donor area, there’s our sanctuary. The vamps have their sanctuaries, too.. but I like mine best. Not all of us talk.. Mostly it’s just Wolfy, Jamie, and myself talking… We like the sound of our voices.

The other thing.. Black Swan. It’s a somewhat highly debated vamp community term for a donor. There’s different classifications within the swans.. Depending on what kind of donor you are, and if you’ve actually found a vamp to donate to or not. But the general color is black.

One of the girls in our group drew this great doodle of a black swan… Very abstract/deco, but you can totally recognize it. So cute. Well, Jamie loved it so much, she said she’d get a tattoo of it, once Rev finished it. After many delays, and the tat artist flaking on her… She got it done today! She hasn’t figured out how to upload a picture yet, but we’ve all been yelling at her to show us pictures as soon as freaking possible! We’re that excited.

I think I’m going to go to the bead shop by my sister’s job tomorrow. See if they have any swan beads. I just finished lining the purse I crocheted this evening, and I think that having ties that have black swans on them will be my little subtle nod to my other life. I still want the black swans rock thong, though 😛

In other news. My vamp is sick. And it’s not something that feeding her more will fix. She has an immune system disorder. It’s not HIV. It’s more like she’s allergic to her own antibodies. She got an ear infection, and the next day (yesterday) they rushed her to the ER because she was covered in hives. If she gets sick, her body thinks the antibodies are the bad guys, so they release oodles of histimine into her…

It’s just got me worried, you know? I can’t control it. But I can make her laugh. She’s part of the reason I named this blog as I did.. that and the running joke on the VCMB that while Donors are food.. we’re Not nummy sandwiches!

Okay. So I think that’s it for today. Tell me what you think of it. A post or two a day is prolly all I can squeeze in until I finish getting the internet and stuff setup in my new apartment. We’ll see how much I add in when I’m logged in at all times.

Love y’all, and make someone you know double blink at least once tomorrow!

Hello world!

Okay. I’m Acrophobic Pixie. I wander around the net every now and then. To my knowledge, I’m the only pixie that admits to acrophobia, so if you’ve met me, you’ve really met this me. If that makes sense.

So, this blog, the title, and my avatar picture. What the heck?, right? Okay. My avatar is of a döner, this apparently super tasting sandwich. People who don’t use spell check often use doner instead of the word donor. A donor is a person that gives things to people, with no expectations of recieving something in return. Okay, well, it’s a bit more complicated. Sure, I give to charity when I can, but I’m a different kind of donor. I donate to vampires. The real kind, not Dracula.

Vampires and those other things that supposedly go bump in the night exhist. Not all that to get excited about, though. Oooh, it’s a vampire, I’m so scared. *rolls eyes*

I’m currently donor to one vampire. She’s been a great friend of mine for several years. She’s a psychic vampire, so we don’t have to be in the same physical vicinity for her to feed. Now, if I were to have a sanguine vamp, then yes, I’d have to be nearby. Bottled blood is not that safe. And very hard to ship, not that I’d really know.

But I started this blog for the other donors out there. Lady Slinky wanted to know if there were any donor websites, and I didn’t know of any, but I know of crochet and knitting blogs, so I thought, why not? If yarn can have a blog, why can’t a person that is often mistaken for a sandwich? *grins*

Welcome to my blog. Hopefully I’ll do better at this than my old LJ account 😛